The 11 Most Inappropriate Toys in the History of Toys

They say that 90% of innuendo is in the interpretation, but it still needs that seed of WTF to set someone off.  Somewhere someone thought these totally inappropriate toys would be perfect for kids.  They were wrong.

If you got these on Christmas Morning, the first thing you’d do is laugh.  And then you’d cry, and then you’d spend the rest of your childhood in therapy.  Here are 11 totally inappropriate toys for kids.  You’d better put your coffee down before you get to number 4!

1- Wolverine

Wolver-Wiener

No, I don’t want to inflate it…

Buzz Lightyear

naughty-buzzNo, I don’t want a drink

The “Punisher”

The-Punisher

Prepare to be punished.  Hard.

The Bat Pistol

Bat-Pistol

The pose, the placement of the trigger, the cork where you “fill him up”… The. Look. On. His. Face.

Pregnant Barbie

Pregnant-Barbie

What’s worse, the terrifying “this is where babies come from”, or the expression on the face of the baby as it claws its way out?

Dora Aquapet

Dora-Explorer

Dora, “the explorer”.

The MOST AMAZING TOY EVER

Six-Finger

It looks like “a finger”

Mickey Mouse Bag Clips

Mickey-Bag-Clips

Passing these off as a “toy” would probably result in tears, but then you look, and you realise they look exactly like…

ET’s “Finger”

ETs-Finger

And you thought the scene where ET dies brought tears to your eye?  Enjoy this massive wrinkled cockalike.

Your Super Friend

Super-Man

It’s not entirely clear what you “stuff” into where, or how you play, but it’s clear that amputee Superman’s going to bring hours of fun into your family.

The Worst Nintendo DS Stylus

Nintendo-DS-Mew-Stylus

This dinky little Nintendo DS stylus was released to tie into a Pokemon game.  It’s Mew.  For some reason, it didn’t sell well at the time –  although now it’s something of a collectors’ item.

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